I grew up in the culture that most young girls live in today. A culture that encourages girls to surpass their gender roles to do and be anything. We were told that being a woman shouldn’t stop us from reaching our dreams and that we should work hard to meet, or even beat, the roles that most men take on.
This is all well and good…except when it diminishes the typical role of the woman: the homemaker. So often women see the role of the homemaker as something to be looked down upon. We straighten our back and put our chin to the air and proudly proclaim that we are better than that. We are educated, strong, self-sufficient women who have no place in that role.
Even in my adult life it has taken me a while to feel comfortable as a homemaker. Long days of cooking, laundry, cleaning, nursing the baby, teaching, raising kids (etc.) can leave me feeling exhausted and ready for a “real” job, so I find myself going to the only place I know that has all the answers: the Bible.
In recent weeks I have been scouring the scriptures to find out what God has to say about homemaking. Does He really care if our houses are well-kept? Does it matter to Him if I stay at home? Would I be more useful to the Kingdom working alongside my husband in the ministry?
All of these questions are important ones, and though the Bible may not give direct answers to each individual question, God’s heart and desire for the homemaker is clear.
…that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:5
Here we find a list of what young women should be taught and to be homemakers is found right in the midst of it. Not only is it important but it is necessary so that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
Proverbs 31:10-31 is a famous passage about the virtuous woman. It displays a beautiful picture of a woman’s relationship with her husband, her kids, her neighbors and even talks about her place in the home.
She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27
Now, does this mean that the only way we can walk in the role of homemaker is to stay at home all the time and take care of all the housework? No, in fact I believe that working outside the home does not disqualify you from being a homemaker anymore than staying home makes you one, and you will certainly never find me putting up a fight when Phillip offers to watch the kids or cook supper.
You see, homemaking isn’t so much about the care of the home but the care of the people who reside in it.
A stay-at-home mom could spend all her time on the internet, watching tv or doing other activities and never interact with her kids. She could even spend all her time cleaning and making her house look nice, but miss all the wonderful moments that come along with the messes.
I don’t think God intended for us to obsess over every spec of dust or pile of laundry (though we should remember that the Bible warns against laziness-remember the bread of idleness- so we certainly shouldn’t slack on our responsibilities!). As homemakers, we are not making a home, but a family. We are investing in our husbands, our children, our relations with each other and our relations with the world. We are taking responsibility for the people God has put in our care.
As homemakers we are often in the position to choose how our families will live: what they will eat, how they will be taught or entertained, what their days will be filled with.
God’s purpose for the homemaker is not to make the home spotless, but to make it a place where His will and grace can abound.
Every time we cook a meal or fold laundry we are making it possible for our family to continue into a new day of service for the Lord.
Every time we cuddle or play we are paving the road our children will walk.
When we give our husbands an encouraging word, change a dirty diaper, or simply sweep the dirt off the floor, we are creating an environment of love, service and compassion.
Our families are the greatest gift (other than our salvation) and greatest ministry that we have here on this earth. If we make them a priority (whether we stay at home or work outside the home) and make it our goal to make a Christ-centered home, the outcome would be unbelievable.
Imagine your marriage built on Christ, love, and unity.
Imagine your kids with a passion for the Lord and the strength to say no to the world.
Imagine a home filled with peace.
Imagine your whole family on fire for the Lord.
Now imagine your church filled with families on fire for the Lord. Imagine the impact this would have on your schools, communities and the world.
Being a homemaker doesn’t sound like such a trivial task anymore does it?
So, whether you are a mom, a dad or a child; whether you stay at home, go to work, home school or send your kids to public schools; we must make our families a priority. We must be strong, courageous, unwavering and Christ-centered homemakers because Satan will do anything and everything to hurt, ruin, distract and destroy your family.
The world needs Jesus…
People need saving…
A change must happen…
And it all begins at home.
Zinck Family Missions 
I agree 100%. I am living now in an RV and it would be easy to say, I will go get a job to help my husband get a house for us. But amazingly, the RV has made us closer not only to each other but to God because we have to create the enviroment of Godliness in a much smaller place. I would almost recommend any family giving the RV a trial run, although I am trying hard to get my God led businesses of photography and makeup going, I would prefer the hardship of the RV than to a big house without God.(if that makes sense)
I love that you live in an RV!! My husband and I like RV travelling (we took one from South Texas to the Smokey Mountains when our oldest was just 1). It would be a huge challenge to live in one full-time though! Hats off to you for following God and facing that challenge!
Thank you and I am sure you would face the challenge full on. I know one day when I have my house again, I will appreciate EVERY tiny detail, lol
Amen, well put.
Thanks, Cari!
I remember when I was in college and I would tell people that when I get married and have kids, I would prefer to stay at home…or work from home. I wanted to be a homemaker, the way my mom was before me. People would look at me like I was insane and try to talk me out of it. They would tell me that I was taking a step back for all women by saying I WANT to be a homemaker. They couldn’t understand why someone who was attending college would actually choose being a homemaker over being a career woman. I would try to explain to them that family is more important to me than any career. Sure, I had dreams of being a great writer (I majored in print journalism), but I always knew that once I had a family…my family would come first.
Then once I got pregnant, the idea of returning to a full time job out of the house did not seem reasonable to me. I respect all the women who do it, but I just couldn’t see myself leaving my newborn baby to go to work. I was lucky enough to find a work from home job. I still encounter a lot of people who don’t understand my choices. They don’t understand why a college educated woman, who took women’s studies classes, would opt to be a homemaker. Why I would give up my career. I feel sad for people who can’t understand why I would choose to put my family first…and my bond with my daughter. I love being home with her all day.
Thank you for sharing! It can be hard when we choose to follow what God has called us to do because so often it doesn’t make sense to the world, but when you do God is sure to bless you.
You hit it on the head! I loved being a stay at home mom and wouldn’t have traded it for anything. I was excited to go back to work at 40 but the kids were close to grown. It is such an honor and reward to be a wife and mom. I’m so proud of my ‘younger’ friends realizing this!
Thanks Melody! You have always been one of my homemaking inspirations. 🙂
I have a lot of respect for those that choose to be a homemaker because I feel that is a career path also. It’s work just like when one goes to a job outside the home. I chose to have a career outside the home and my family still takes priority. I went to school for many years and feel my gifts are needed for others within my career. I would never want to make someone feel bad for being a homemaker and I don’t allow others to make me feel bad about a career outside of the home because I know it is where I am called to be. Not all women make good homemakers and I love my job and my husband would never ask me to do something that I would not be happy doing. We walk along aside each other, I don’t walk behind him. Thanks
Maye Durant
Thanks for reading and commenting, Maye! The most important thing is to make family a priority whether you stay at home or not. I believe the person who can do this is a true “homemaker”, even if she works outside the home.
I have been a stay at home mom,and worked outside the home as needed.For the last 12 years God has allowed me to be a full time Granny.I have seen little ones take their first steps and shared this time with them.When they are grown, I will have so many memories to keep me smiling!!!!!
This is so special thank you!